


The Proper Use of Nano-Particles in a St. Patrick's Day Celebration

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mad Science, St. Patrick's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-19
Updated: 2013-03-19
Packaged: 2017-12-05 20:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson is sent to find out exactly what happened.</p><p>For the prompt on comment-fic on lj: Tony, St. Patrick's Day shenanigans</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Proper Use of Nano-Particles in a St. Patrick's Day Celebration

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Правильное использование наночастиц в праздновании дня Святого Патрика](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8307110) by [faikit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faikit/pseuds/faikit)



"Anyone can turn a river green," Tony said. 

Coulson didn't think that was a very good answer. 

"That doesn't explain why you turned the sun green," Coulson pointed out.

"We didn't turn the sun green, that would be ridiculous," Tony said, "We made the sun _look_ green by releasing a series of nano-emitters into the atmosphere, it's all perfectly safe, well I mean unless you're dependent on the part of the spectrum that -- well, whatever, it'll be back to normal tomorrow. Or by Thursday. But soon, it'll be back to normal soon."

"And didn't anyone try to stop you?" Coulson said, raising an eyebrow at Pepper. 

She laughed at him as she went back to reading her iPad. "Yeah. I'm going to waste my precious little free time talking Tony out of a scheme that _won't_ get him killed."

"And didn't your common sense prevail, Dr. Banner?" Coulson said, turning toward him.

"Ha. That's a joke, right?" Tony said, "This was Bruce's idea!"

Bruce gave Coulson a polite nod and shrug. 

"And where were my agents in all of this?"

"Clint was shooting water balloon arrows at the crowds. It was pretty awesome. He drinks a sip of whiskey after every shot, but he still hasn't missed yet. Natasha's picking out the crowd members to shoot," Tony explained.

"Naturally. And so no one here bothered to check if making the sun look green would cause mass hysteria among anyone the drunken crowds. Particularly, when you shouted, "If you see a green sun, it means you drank the bad green beer."

Tony gave a guilty look. "Well, that was just a little experiment in social behavior. We'll write it up into an article."

Coulson sighed. "Tony. Local authorities were able to quell the chaos without major injuries. Through some miracle. But in the future, you will need to run any holiday celebrations that affect the general public by us. That way, we can ensure that we are prepared for any eventualities."

Tony shrugged. "Yeah. Sure, fine. I make the party happen, you guys clean it up. I like that."

"That's not what I said," Coulson answered.

"That's kind of what you said," Bruce pointed out.

"Hey, now that St. Paddy's day is over," Tony said, "We should discuss my plans for Arbor Day. It's going to be spectacular. But there's a slight chance it might change the planet's orbit."

Bruce leaned forward to listen intently to Tony's idea, while Pepper continued to examine the Stark Industry spreadsheets on her iPad. 

Coulson just turned around to leave, but Tony said, "Wait!" He came up to Coulson and pinched him.

Coulson raised an eyebrow that would make any man with sense quiver.

Tony grinned and said, "You're not wearing green!"

"I'm wearing green underwear. And if you ever pinch me again--"

"You'll Taser me and leave me a drooling mess?" Tony said.

"I'll ask Fury to do these visits personally."

Tony frowned. "Relax, it was just a friendly pinch." He went back to talking to Bruce about some kind of tree-alien-robot hybrid that could apparently slow ocean levels from rising if used correctly and if not used correctly could....

Coulson didn't even want to know. 

He was starting to think that he should really consider a transfer.


End file.
